justdidntseeit | [[ milliways, upstairs ]]

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[[ milliways, upstairs ]]

[ "i think i should talk to demeter." ]

Kate eases open Boo's bedroom door, and she isn't completely surprised to see that Bill has fallen asleep with Boo curled on his chest, her head tucked under his chin. They're both snoring softly, a copy of Where the Wild Things Are rising and falling on Bill's stomach with each slow, even breath.

Smiling to herself, Kate pads across the room on silent feet and lifts the book from Bill's torso. Once it's back on the shelf, she carefully covers Bill and Boo with a spare blanket.

She doesn't want to wake either of them -- Boo played hard earlier, and Bill hasn't been sleeping well for days; the purple smudges under his eyes hurt to see.

She's closing the bedroom door behind her with a barely audible click when a soft knock sounds.

Her heart rate doubles as crosses the suite, but tension drains from her shoulders when she sees who's on the other side of the door.

"Demeter," she says quietly, stepping back and opening the door wider. "Come in."

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The bruise on Kate's face makes Demeter frown as she pulls Kate into a tight hug as she steps inside,

"Talk to me, child."

Kate's throat closes up for a moment as she returns the hug.

"I'm -- "

A mess.

Her arms tighten around the goddess.

"I'm okay," she says, pulling back to look at Demeter. "Have a seat. Bill and Boo are sleeping, so it's just us right now."

"You sit, I'll make us some tea."

Kate is put in the comfiest chair that Demeter can find as she moves into the kitchen and soon returns with a pot of sweet smelling tea,

"Drink this and we will find a way out."

"Demeter, you don't have to -- "

But Demeter's already preparing the tea and offering Kate a cup, so her protest is moot.

"Thank you," she says softly. "Please, have a seat. You shouldn't go to all this trouble."

"Yes, I should since you're all in knots and haven't been taking care of yourself properly. Now talk and I'll listen."

"I'm fine, it's -- "

The kindness and concern threatens to undo her; she looks into her tea and shakes her head, swallowing thickly.

"Do you know what's happening between Katherine Barlow and Ramon Salazar?"

"Yes, he's the worst sort of man who wants everything to revolve around him and she's unsure of who she is so thinks she has to fix everything herself. But I want to know how much you and Bill are hurting."

"Bill's involved. He got between them in the stables, trying to make sure they didn't kill each other, and -- "

She lets out a soft, slow breath.

"It's gotten so messy."

She takes a sip of tea.

"Bill kept Ramon's handgun, and he wasn't going to give it back. Ramon gave him a three-day ultimatum, and Bill and I argued about it until he agreed to give it back, but I took it from Bill's room and gave it to Ramon instead, so Bill wouldn't have to."

She gives Demeter a tired, wry half-smile.

"It didn't go so well."

"And it seem that there's no way out? I know, child, but we'll find one. Let him play his games for power, he doesn't understand love or the things that last."

Demeter strokes Kate's hair, her voice old and tired, she has no so many men like Ramon but they never seem to realize that power never brings them what they need.

Her scalp tingles under the gentle touch, and she closes her eyes.

"I lied to both of them, Demeter."

Her fingers curl tighter around her mug.

"I lied to Bill, and I lied to Ramon. I only made everything worse."

"We do that for love and you and Bill are strong and will find your way through this. The most you can do is untangle yourself from Ramon, but at a certain point you have to just keep living. He has no right to destroy or harm what you and Bill have."

She nods and opens her eyes, drawing strength and comfort from Demeter's words.

"We're going to try. I think I can talk to Ramon, and apologize for lying about our relationship. I just need him to understand why I did it -- I didn't want to give him any kind of advantage or leverage against Bill."

She knows if it came down to it, Bill would do anything in his power to keep her safe; with a man like Ramon involved, she doesn't want to consider how high that price that could become.

"He will think what he thinks, men like that always do. Give your time and words and heart to Bill."

Demeter's hand moves down to Kate's back, rubbing strong circles as she tries to explain.

She looks over, studying Demeter's features.

"Do you think he can be reasoned with?"

"Perhaps he could, but think about how he has spoken to you and treated you. Do you think he will reason with you?"

She resists the urge to touch her cheek with her fingertips and takes another sip of warm, sweet tea.

"I don't know."

A beat.

"But I have to do something. I've put Boo at risk here with my thoughtlessness. If anything happens to Bill, or to me ... "

"I know that it feels that way, its part of being alive, you want to run or fight. Say your piece to him and then I want you and Bill and Boo to come to my house in France. I won't be there for a few days, but you need time away. Or tell me where you would rather go and I'll find you a quiet place on a beach somewhere. He will not hurt any of you, you have my promise."

"France."

She nods, trying to smile.

"It's been a couple of years since I've been."

"You can do as much or as little as you like. There's a town within walking distance and the sea is not far off. Or you can simply roam our gardens."

She gives Demeter's forearm a gentle squeeze, gratitude in her eyes.

"That sounds wonderful."

As long as Bill lives to see it, says an ugly whisper from a dark corner of her mind.

"Ramon doesn't know about Boo. I never want him to find out. If anything -- "

Her voice catches and she shakes her head.

"He won't. I need you to take of yourselves though, eat, sleep and love. Life is too short and precious to let someone like Ramon hurt you."

She nods again, focusing on Demeter's voice to keep away the nightmare scenarios of what could be.

"But if -- "

She swallows hard.

"Demeter, if something does happen because of what I've done, could you help make sure Boo's protected while she's here?"

"I will. This is what he wants, Kate, to make you fear him so that even when he's not here you're scared of him."

Throat too tight to speak, her thank you lodges in her lungs, but it's written on her face.

She presses her lips together and takes in an unsteady breath; she won't cry, she won't.

"He's an arms dealer," she says after a moment. "Fear's part of his business."

"Its also just the sort of man he is. At times its best to say, no, I won't play your games. That's why I left my family, I was tired of having such men thinking they knew me and could decide for me."

She cups her mug in both hands, letting the warm ceramic soak into her palms.

"When they saw you again, how did they treat you?"

"It depends on who it was. Zeus has always tried to act like he understands me when he doesn't. The others, well some things work better than others. There's no easy answer."

'There's no easy answer.'

"God, I wish there was."

"Shh, I know."

Demeter pulls Kate into a tight hug.

She returns the hug, and in this moment, she's never missed her mom more.

"Thank you for being here."

"I won't go anywhere."

She pulls back, blinking hard to clear her watery vision.

"You've been such a good friend to Bill and me, Demeter -- and to Boo. I don't know how to begin to repay you."

"You don't have to do anything to repay me. I love you all and that's enough."

Kate breathes a shaky, heartfelt laugh and shakes her head.

"I want you to help me drink all this tea and tell me how you've been since we saw each other."

Demeter's smile is warmer and she pours out more tea and pulls out a warm loaf of bread,

"There isn't much to tell. I've been spending time with Kore since she'll be leaving soon."

"That's right."

Kate's expression softens as she trades her mug for a small slice of bread.

"I know it's kind of a stupid question, but how are you doing?"

"Its been a long Summer, but I'm well just worried about everyone."

"You have to take care of yourself, too," she says, gently half-teasing.

(Of course, the irony of the advice isn't lost on Kate.)

"I know, we'll find a way through all of this."

"We will," she says with a small nod.

We have to.

"We will."

Demeter holds her tightly and rubs her back, sometimes words can only do so much.

Kate swallows thickly and nods into Demeter's shoulder.

They'll fix this somehow -- just like she and Bill agreed.

They have to.

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[[ milliways, upstairs ]]

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